


I’ll Never Love Again

by ilikeyoump3



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU - Johnny is a songwriter and Jaehyun is a singer/guitar player, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, VERY LOOSELY mainly just the song I’ll Never Love Again, based on a star is born
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-20 03:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17614751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikeyoump3/pseuds/ilikeyoump3
Summary: I watched a star is born for the second time and man does it hurt :,) I’ll never love again and always remember us this way inspired this heavily. I wrote this all in one shot so sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors I didn’t catch when I read it overfollow me on twit: ilikeyoump3





	I’ll Never Love Again

“Johnny, do you love me?”

 

To Johnny, to say he loved Jaehyun would feel like an understatement. Worry flashes in his mind for a moment: was he not loving Jaehyun enough? Not openly enough? He stops writing and places his pencil down, and locks eyes with Jaehyun. In those eyes, he can see his whole world. His beginning and his end, and he can only see them with Jaehyun. A small smile grows on his face.

“I don’t think I could love anyone else like I love you, Jaehyun.” The tips of Jaehyun’s ears flare red, and he averts his gaze from Johnny, focusing on the strings of his guitar instead. 

“I worry sometimes, that… There’s something bigger and better waiting for you on the horizon, that you’ll run to chase your dreams and I won’t be able to keep up, and you’ll leave me behind.” He shakes his head, and picks nervously at one of his nail. “Forget I said anything, it’s dumb.”

“No, Jaehyun, it isn’t dumb. Look at me, baby.” Jaehyun’s cheeks flush at the term of endearment, and looks up at Johnny as his finger hooks under his chin. “My future, my dreams… They’re nothing without you, meaningless without you.” Johnny presses a quick but loving kiss to Jaehyun’s lips.

“Johnny, you have hundreds of agents knocking at the door, texting you, calling you, willing to pay thousands for your songs. Yet, you’re here, in my small excuse of an apartment, letting me sing your songs. I want you to succeed, Johnny. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“Selling my songs won’t make me happy, Jaehyun. My songs have a heart, have a soul, because you’re the one singing them. Having a famous pop star sing my songs won’t make me happy, I’ll only be happy hearing you sing them. I don’t ever want to play piano alongside anyone other than you, Jaehyun. Please, you aren’t holding me back. This is where I’m meant to be.” Johnny kisses Jaehyun again, a silent plea for him to listen to him, that his home is right here.

They head to bed late that night, thanks to a long night in the recording studio. They eat dinner at a diner near Jaehyun’s apartment, they split a chocolate shake, and Jaehyun falls asleep resting on Johnny’s shoulder on the car ride home. Johnny carries him inside and cuddles against him in bed, holding him a little more tightly than usual, almost worried that he’d disappear if he let him go. Johnny rubs circles into Jaehyun’s back, and replays their conversation from earlier in his head. Worry and fear cloud his mind, all he’s ever wanted is to play alongside Jaehyun, money and fame had never been a worry to him. Johnny brushes the hair on Jaehyun’s head aside, and he places a kiss to his forehead. 

Jaehyun wakes up alone, only waking because the bed isn’t nearly as warm without Johnny. He lazily crawls out of bed and puts himself together before venturing out into the kitchen to hopefully find Johnny. Much to his dismay, the apartment is empty, feeling significantly smaller without Johnny’s large personality in it. On the counter sits a note, next to a strawberry sprinkle donut, Jaehyun’s favorite.

 

_ I went to the studio early to write. Come join me, your iced Americano is in the fridge :-) _

__

Jaehyun smiles fondly at the note before slipping his shoes and jacket on to meet Johnny at the studio. He almost forgets his coffee in the fridge, but he thankfully remembers it, and he heads for the studio with his donut hanging from his mouth.

When Jaehyun enters the studio, Johnny is playing his piano, playing a tune he doesn’t recognize. Jaehyun hangs around at the door, not wanting to disturb him. Johnny’s singing quietly too, too quietly for Jaehyun to make out the words. He quietly steps towards him and sits in the chair by his guitar stand. Johnny notices him now, and stops playing to look at him. 

“Good morning, sunshine. I see you had your breakfast.” 

“Yeah, thank you for getting my favorite. What’s the occasion? You’re never up this early.”

“I wrote something last night, and I wanted to get a feel of how it sounded. C’mere, I think it’ll sound better if you sing it.” Johnny scoots over on the bench, and Jaehyun sits beside him.

“You think everything sounds better when I sing it, Johnny.” Johnny scoffs.

“Only because it’s true. Here, those are the lyrics.” Jaehyun holds the sheet in his hand, a humble piece of lined paper filled completely with Johnny’s writing, even a couple doodles in the margins. Jaehyun always loved Johnny’s lyric sheets, and he especially loved his handwriting. He read over the sheet a couple of times, a heavy blush settling on his cheeks. Johnny began to play, and Jaehyun began to sing, with Johnny singing quietly next to him.

_ Don't wanna feel another touch _

_ Don't wanna start another fire _

_ Don't wanna know another kiss _

_ No other name falling off my lips _

 

Tears swell in Jaehyun’s eyes, and eventually they begin to fall on the lyric sheet. He looks over to Johnny, whose eyes are glassy with tears as well. 

 

_ Don't wanna give my heart away _

_ To another stranger _

_ Or let another day begin _

_ Won't even let the sunlight in _

_ No, I'll never love again _

 

Johnny’s hands move to rest on top of Jaehyun’s, and their eyes lock.

“I’ll never love again, Jaehyun. You’re all I have, and you’re all I’ll ever need.” More tears slip from his eyes and trail down his cheek, landing on top of their hands. “I never, ever want you to feel like you’re not enough for me. My songs only have meaning if they’re sung by you, because I write them for you. I can’t write without you. I love you, and only you.” 

Jaehyun runs his finger across Johnny’s cheek, wiping away some of his tears. “You’re such a crybaby, Johnny.” Funny he says this, as there are wet trails on his cheeks as well. “I’m not nearly as good with words as you are, but I love you, and I’ll never doubt myself again. We’ll do this together.” Johnny pulls Jaehyun in tightly, burying his face in Jaehyun’s neck. They stay like this for a long time, quiet, wrapped in each other’s arms. Eventually, Johnny pulls away and looks into Jaehyun’s eyes.

In those eyes, he can see his whole life. He can see their beginning, when they met by a fountain downtown, Johnny drawn to Jaehyun’s warm voice and how he could see his dimples as he laughed over breaking a guitar string. He can see their first date, an awkward conversation over iced coffee in the middle of the winter. He can hear the first song he wrote for Jaehyun, and how he scrambled to keep it hidden, and ultimately sang it for him despite his embarrassment, he just can’t say no to Jaehyun. He can see Jaehyun’s smile when Johnny asked him to move in, and he can hear the first time they went to the recording studio together. He can see a bit into the future too, filled with songs of love and lazy mornings.

Johnny doesn’t realize he’s crying again until Jaehyun wipes his tears away again. “Baby, why are you crying? I mean it, I love you. I love you so much, I never meant to upset you.” He kisses Johnny’s cheek. “I love you.” He kisses him again, showering him with as much love as he can take.

“I didn’t mean to cry, you know how I get. I just… Don’t want you to ever doubt yourself. I don’t have it in me to love anyone but you.” Johnny’s voice is hushed, scared to say this too loudly. Johnny fishes in his pocket, holding onto something tightly. Using his free hand, he clutches onto Jaehyun’s. “I just don’t want to let you go, ever. You’re my beginning and my end, baby. There’s no one else I want to spend my days with.”

Jaehyun looks at him, a confused glint in his eyes. “Babe, what are you doing?” 

Johnny smiles softly, and carefully slips a silver band onto Jaehyun’s finger. “I’m asking you to marry me, baby. It’s.. Not much, but… I didn’t want to wait any longer. I realized last night that I needed to marry you, I can’t bear another moment without you being completely mine.”

“Did you… Did you go out and get this last night?” Jaehyun stares down at the ring, running his finger over it.

“This morning, actually. I decided on it last night. I got you breakfast when I came back. You… Don’t mind, do you?”

“If you’re asking if I want to marry you,” Jaehyun looks up at Johnny, and brings his hand up to up his cheek. “I do, Johnny. I don’t have it in me to love anyone else but you, baby.” Jaehyun closes the distance between them, kissing him softly.

“When you look at me, the whole world fades, and all I see is you.”

“Sounds like great lyrics for a song, baby.”

“Write it with me? It’ll sound better if you sing it.”

“Of course, Johnny.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I watched a star is born for the second time and man does it hurt :,) I’ll never love again and always remember us this way inspired this heavily. I wrote this all in one shot so sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors I didn’t catch when I read it over
> 
> follow me on twit: ilikeyoump3


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